Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
