I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
