lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
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