He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
