He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
