Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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