How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize