they need to just BURY HIM!
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I would ride that face into the sunset
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
