Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
