I think I can smell my own vagina right now
splinters make it hard to masturbate
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
