I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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