You can't special order awesome
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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