he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I need water and some morals
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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