I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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