just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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