I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar