I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
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Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
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Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??