in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
her facebook's as public as her vagina
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
