First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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