There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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