I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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