so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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