Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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