Dual....:-)
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
