I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
