Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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