butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
