i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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