I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
