Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
