I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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