I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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