yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
