Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
