Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
