OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
