i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
You smell like a Billy Joel song
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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