thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
