My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
