WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
