No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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