How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
