Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
