walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
