And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
