my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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