You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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