I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Randomize
