we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
