...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
