HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
A+ Viking dick
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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