pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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