$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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