at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
