he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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