I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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