did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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