If i come over, it means nothing
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
