She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
