Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
