I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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