I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
how does that bad decision feel?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
