It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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