i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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