Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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