how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
