She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize