are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
